


RPG

by dracosathenaeum



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracosathenaeum/pseuds/dracosathenaeum
Summary: You and Draco have different love languages, different ways of showing your love. But it breaks down and love is no longer enough. Based on RPG by Kehlani and 6LACK
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader
Kudos: 10





	RPG

He loved you.

That was supposed to be enough. 

In every love story, in every love song and in every poem about love, (you see the common factor here?) love was supposed to prevail. As long as you had love, the world was supposed to right itself, nothing else should have mattered as long as you were with the one you loved. 

So why was he watching you slip through your fingers when he loved you as much as he did, and if you loved him as much as you claimed you did.

“This is stupid. You’re ending things between us because love isn’t enough? Is my love not enough for you?” He could see the bitterness written all over your face, the way you brought your lower lip into your mouth, between your teeth was all he needed to know you were holding back. But he didn’t want you to hold back, not if this were to truly be the end.

“What more do you want from me? I have given up everything for you, _everything._ Talk to me y/n, tell me what you want from me!” He had tried to keep calm, had occluded to stop himself from setting the room around you on fire, to keep himself from breaking when he needed control the most to convince you of your lunacy. 

His hands were on your shoulders, fingers digging into your skin as you stared at him with nothing but rage in your eyes. “You’re not enough for me. You tell me I’m beautiful because I tell you, you don’t tell me enough. You hold me at night because I tell you, you don’t touch me enough. You only started coming home when work actually ended for you because I tell you, you work too much. This is the first time you’ve told me you loved me in 4 months. 4 months Draco! Everything you’ve done to show me you even _care_ about me has come from me _begging_ you to do so. You’re my boyfriend Draco, is it so hard to tell me you love me every so often? Is it so hard for you to touch me when we’re not having sex? Is it so hard for you to be with me that you spend every fucking minute you can in an office 100 fucking miles from me? So what if I want more Draco, so what if I’m tired of this.”

He knew that love was hard, had read that muggle book of the two tragic young lovers, had understood from various pureblood marriages that love was never easy. But loving you was the easiest thing in the world for him, as he hoped it would be for you to love him.

He had defected from the death eaters for you. He had given up all he knew for you, had himself written out of every will, the belongings that were his _birth rights_ he had happily given up so that he could be with you, freely. 

He had given up everything, but it had been an easy decision when the outcome would be you. He had spent hours in those freezing ministry offices all so he could become eligible for a pay rise, so that he could finally afford a ring that should’ve been on your finger years ago. The Malfoy ring he had always dreamt of his wife wearing was not even an option anymore, but he would marry you with paper rings if you would have him. 

//

He said he loved you. You both knew you loved him. It was in every action and interlaced in every word you spoke to him. So why was it so fucking hard for him to do the same.

You weren’t asking to be serenaded every day, you weren’t asking for constant public displays of affection. Draco was a private person, and you respected that. But in the comfort of your own home? The 4 walls you both had _made_ your home. Were little signs of love too much to ask for? 

You just wanted to feel wanted, to feel loved. 

You didn’t want to have to second guess every move you made in your relationship anymore. 

You didn’t want to have to doubt your _boyfriend’s_ love for you anymore. 

“Draco I’ve told you what I wanted 100 times; I’ve asked you for what I wanted 100 times. I’m not asking for much, I’m not asking for anything out of the ordinary. I just want to feel loved by MY BOYFRIEND. I want you to touch me without me asking you to, I want you to talk to me like you used to, as if nothing else in the world but us mattered. I want a _relationship_ again, not 2 people who live together and just happen to share a life together. I WANT TO FEEL LOVED.”

He had stared at you with the same blank stare he had given his parents all those years ago when he was given that first ultimatum. He had retreated into his mind in fear of showing any emotion. This is what you couldn’t stand anymore. The constant need he felt to hide his emotions from you, this is what had ruined you.

“STOP HIDING FROM ME. I’m leaving you and you still can’t find it in you to talk to me? To open up to your girlfriend of 7 YEARS. Draco please.”

“Marry me.” Your traitorous heart all but wanted to fling itself into his arms, to say yes and to marry the broken man in front of you, the same broken man you had met as a broken boy all those years ago. This man who had nothing but, he had you. 

In the end, your head won over your heart, “Marriage isn’t going to fix anything Draco! I want to marry you, I do. But not like this. Not when we’re barely hanging on. Marriage isn’t something that will magically fix all our problems Draco.”

He had stopped occluding, you could tell by the way his eyes darted around your face, as if judging whether or not you were serious, trying to memorise all the parts of your face that he hadn’t looked at for more than 5 seconds in the past 6 months. 

“I’m walking out that door Draco, and you’re not stopping me. Come find me when you finally decide to be my boyfriend and not someone a share a bed with. I won’t wait forever Draco.”

He watched as you turned and walked out the door. Did nothing as you waited outside the door, waiting for him to pull open the door and pull you back inside. You both knew you were still at the door, that you wouldn’t leave, not yet. 

But in the end, it was you who had turned and re-entered the apartment you had once loved returning to. You had heard the roar of the floo network, and your heart had practically stopped in your chest, your body moving before your brain could catch up. 

Flinging the door open, you had expected to at least catch where he was going, but he was already gone. 

The office would be closed, the bars wouldn’t allow a former death eater in. He had nowhere else to go. No that wasn’t true, but you wouldn’t bring yourself to believe he would go back _there_ , he would be back. And you would slip him veritaserum and you would work it out. 

//

He wasn’t enough.

He wasn’t enough.

He wasn’t _enough._

He would never be enough, not for Voldemort, not for his parents and not even for you. 

He thought that his actions would’ve been enough, that his intentions would’ve been clear, that his love for you was unbreakable as it had been for the past 7 years. Now he knows only he had thought that.

The nights he would hold you throughout your nightmares that were frequent after the war, the way he would replace your quill every Monday before work because he knew you hated when it got blunt, the way he would always make a cup of tea for you in the morning, putting it in a to-go cup on the days he knew you were running late. 

The days he would spend trying to talk to your parents, trying to get them to like him enough so that he could propose to you, so that you could finally have a working relationship with them again.

The days he spent being biting his tongue when his colleagues took credit for his work, earning them the praises and pay rises that should’ve been his. because who would believe a death eater anyways? And because it was the sure way, he could keep his job and keep affording to support your futures. _Together._

But he wasn’t enough. He would never be enough. 

He was constantly reminded of that fact, from the world, from the writhing snake on his arm. But from you? You had been the one person he _lived_ for.

He stood in the fireplace of his childhood home, tears running down his face as his parents sat in their armchairs, not bothered by his arrival as if he hadn’t been out of their lives for the past 5 years, instead focusing on their books in hand.

“I’m home.”

Neither of them moved, but the corners of his mother’s mouth curled up and he was as good as gone.

“Welcome home, Draco.”


End file.
